Cyborg's Bad Habit
by Kevorkian
Summary: A songfic about Cyborg's road rage, to the song Bad Habit, by The Offspring. Intended entirely for humor Cyborg is a little...extreme. Rated primarily for language.


**Author's Note**: Ah, please do not flame. I was just getting tired of my music and listening to some old stuff I had, when I came across the song "Bad Habit", by _The Offspring_. And I thought, 'Man! This would be a great song to use with Teen Titans!' Well, okay, I was kind of…not thinking clearly. Apologies in advance. But, I'm determined to try – I just hope it's as fun to read as it was to write. p

Oh, by the way, the story is rated for its language. Except for two lines in the lyrics, the rest is just to emphasize the emotions presented.

The song is "Bad Habit", the artist is _The Offsping_, and the album is "Smash". And, now that I think about it, if someone could or wanted to make an AMV with the song, this whole idea would probably come off a LOT better using that media. Ah well, for now you're stuck with text.

**The One and Only Chapter:**

Beastboy had decided to attempt another, and _extremely_ stupid prank. Needless to say, it failed miserably, and Cyborg ended fine. Well, after he rebooted his systems and reverted to a restore point.

_Hey man you know, I'm really okay_

Cyborg was seething mad after Beastboy's little escapade, and was determined to find the little green punk and…well, let's just say he would leave it to Beastboy's overactive imagination. Cyborg smiled.

_The gun in my hand, will tell you the same_

After searching intently for an hour, and only making the rest of the titans angry after disturbing them, he decided that his search was fruitless, and to go blow some steam. He rode the elevator down to the garage, got in the T-car, and punched the ignition. As his baby purred to life, he pressed the button on the remote, opening the garage door.

_But when I'm in my car,_

_don't give me no crap,_

'_cause the slightest thing and I just might snap_

As it clicked all the way open, he stomped on the ignition, and the machine roared away, guzzling gas. But Cyborg didn't care – the mayor and the city provided everything for the Titans, be it food, a house, spending money (though very little), gas.

_When I go driving, I stay in my lane_

Immediately pulling onto the freeway, he really let loose with the pedal. Everyone around him, realizing who he was, got the fuck out of his way. As it should be.

_Well getting cut off, it makes me insane_

However, there was a problem. That problem was some retarded little asshole who didn't know who he was messing with. The little punk roared up behind him, and brushed into his bumper. Enraged, by who and what the little prick thought he and his car were, he stepped even harder on the gas pedal.

_I open the glove box,_

_Reach inside,_

_I'm gunna wreck this fucker's ride_

He quickly swerved to the side, and let off the accelerator. The punk passed him easily, and he stomped right back on the gas and roared up behind the insignificant wretch, the wretch who dared to mess with him. He leaned out the window, careful to maintain pressure on the pedal, and his arm transformed into a sonic cannon.

_I guess I got a bad habit_

_Of blowing away_

_Yeah, I got a bad habit_

_And it ain't goin' away_

His blast fell a little short. He must have miscalculated the speed at which they were going. He prepared another blast, and the other driver, seeing what was coming, swerved out of the way, and the blast missed. He desperately shot off one more quick one, and this time hit gold – the ground just in front of the other guy's back wheel. As his care hit the pothole created less than a second ago, it bucked for a second, no longer. But that second was all that was needed for Cyborg to steal the lead back, to reclaim what was truly his.

_Well they say the road's a dangerous place_

_If you flip me off, I'll get in your face_

The punk, figuring out what had happened, was breathing fumes. Cyborg didn't need to see him to tell, but he knew it, as any true driver would. Cruising easily, he let loose a demonic laugh at the pathetic excuse for a driver behind him. But, the excuse was getting nearer. Driving right on his ass, he bumped the T-car again, sending a jolt all the way through, enough to snap Cyborg's head around in disbelief.

_You drive on my ass_

_Your foot's on the gas_

_And your next breath is your last_

He quickly tapped six different spots on the steering wheel, in quick and precise succession. He knew this…competition was deserving of his unveiling the true secret of the T-car: a nifty 'bag of tricks'. Cyborg had always wanted a car like James Bond. And now he had one. The dashboard slowly retracted for a moment, then flipped over, and was replaced by an all new dashboard. The normally analog dials of the speedometer and odometer were replaced with a small, digital display, at the top of a panel of unmarked buttons. Cyborg pushed the one on the left – the most classic trick in the book. The rear bumper of the car dropped off, and two uncovered pipes poured out oil onto the road.

_I guess I got a bad habit_

_Of blowing away_

_Yeah I got a bad habit_

_And it ain't goin' away_

The punk behind him figured out what was happening, and stopped turning. The worst downfall of the oil slick was that it needed time to settle on the road's surface, otherwise it wouldn't affect traction unless the chasing driver turned, which he had no intention of doing. Proving that it meant nothing, the driver bumped into the T-Car's rear again. This time, the jolt was worse than before, since the bumper was gone.

_Drivers are rude_

_Such attitudes_

_But when I show my piece_

_Complaints cease_

_Something's odd_

_I feel like I'm God_

_You stupid, goddamn, dumbshit, motherfucker!_

This was all Cyborg could take. He engaged cruise control, and pressed the button on the far right. With the car now on autopilot, he hit the button second from the right. The top of the T-car blasted off. Climbing into the backseat, Cyborg transformed both of his arms into sonic cannons. Taking aim straight into the hood of the chasing car, he let loose. There was no way the punk could dodge, or recover. Satisfied, he climbed back in.

_I open the glove box_

_Reach inside_

_I'm gunna wreck this fucker's ride_

Quickly hitting the switch on the far right, and disengaging cruise control, he pulled the emergency brake, and spun the wheel to the right as hard as possible. As the car pulled around in a one eighty, he released the E-brake, and stomped on the gas to avoid fishtailing. As he came back upon the wreck, he slowed once more, and slowly drove by the scene. Pressing the button third from the left, the front right side of the engine compartment flew off, and moments later, two rockets flew out. These rockets perfectly intercepted the wreck on the freeway. He didn't pause to admire his handiwork – rather, he drove to the first on-ramp he could find, drove down it, and pulled onto the street, once more going to correct way.

_I guess I got a bad habit_

_Of blowing away_

_Yeah, I got a bad habit_

_And it ain't goin' away_

After taking several random turns, and driving around the city at low speed, he headed back to Titans tower. Pulling into the garage, he smirked, and shut the garage door. As light from the streetlight faded away, he was shrouded in darkness.

**Author's Note – **So, how was it? I know I took a lot of liberties with Cyborg, and he probably seems extraordinarily out of character, but he and the story just seemed to "click". And, I apologize for any mistakes in the names of the different parts of the car, but I'm not much of a gearhead.

Reviews are most welcome. Flames are welcome to, but only if you can explain your reasons. Otherwise, I'll just ignore them, and everyone will be happy.


End file.
